They were sitting ducks,” Ocasio-Cortez told the Times. “There’s a reason Barack Obama built an entire national campaign apparatus outside of the Democratic National Committee.
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Sitting Ducks | |
---|---|
Genre |
|
Created by | Michael Bedard (lithography) |
Developed by | Sitting Ducks Productions |
Directed by | Walt Kubiak |
Creative directors |
|
Voices of | Ian James Corlett Dave 'Squatch' Ward |
Theme music composer | Kick Productions Limited |
Composers | Kick Productions Limited (Season 1) Charlie Brissette (Season 2) |
Country of origin | United States |
Original language | English |
No. of seasons | 2 |
No. of episodes | 26 (52 segments) (list of episodes) |
Production | |
Executive producers |
|
Producers |
|
Editors |
|
Running time | 22 minutes |
Production companies |
|
Distributor | Universal Worldwide Television |
Release | |
Original network | Cartoon Network |
Original release | September 13, 2001 – July 5, 2003 |
Sitting Ducks is an American children's animated television series based on the 1970s 'Sitting Ducks' lithograph and the 1998 children's book of the same name, created by the poster artist Michael Bedard.[1]Sitting Ducks first appeared in 2001 in Europe, later debuting in the United States on Cartoon Network, in Australia on ABC3, in Canada on CBC Television, in the United Kingdom on CITV and in the Japanese version of Cartoon Network.[2]
This site is created by TechBuzz Shreyan and it can be used for Mini vMac emaculator to download many ROM, MVMAC games, Apps and much more. So enjoy unlimited stuff. MacFarlane Pheasants, Inc has been in the game bird business since 1929 and has grown to be the largest pheasant producer in North America. Our years of experience not only helps us in our work to produce and raise the best birds on the market, it also allows us to supply our customers with the best service after sale. Sitting Ducks is a lithograph created by the poster artist Michael Bedard in 1977. It depicts a literal interpretation of the idiom 'sitting duck'. Three ducks are relaxing in the sun on white chairs by the poolside, one looks up and notices two bullet holes in the wall. A physics-simulation game about building chairs. Assemble chairs using the given budget. You can buy all the materials your heart desires: planks, beams, books - even cacti and bowling balls!
The show lasted for two seasons each comprising thirteen episodes, with the last episode shown on July 5, 2003. Reruns of the show were aired on Qubo in 2007, and were later aired as part of its block Qubo Night Owl, until June 30, 2012. NBC Universal then took all rights to the show with them and has remained quiet until April 15 2020 when NBC Universal released Peacock (streaming service), featuring all 26 episodes of Sitting Ducks.
Background[edit]
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The show takes place in a town called Ducktown and focuses on a duck named Bill and his best friend Aldo, an alligator from the neighboring town of Swampwood. The pair usually end up in varied situations and adventures, getting around on Bill's scooter.
Episodes[edit]
Season | Episodes | Originally aired | |||
---|---|---|---|---|---|
First aired | Last aired | ||||
1 | 13 | September 13, 2001 | March 10, 2002 | ||
2 | 13 | April 12, 2003 | July 5, 2003 |
Characters[edit]
Sitting Ducks Mac Game Today
- Bill (Ian James Corlett) – An anthropomorphic diminutive duck who waddles to a different beat. A very kind hearted, good natured fellow who is always there when needed. One of his dreams is to fly. With the help of his friend Dr. Cecil, he tries again and again to fly, and eventually is told that the reason he can't is because ducks became too terrestrial. Bill's main appearance difference, apart from his smallness, is his bow tie which he changes every year at the Ducktown Picnic. Bill lives in an apartment with his pet parrot, Jerry. He's been called a 'gator lover' for his rare efforts to turn alligators into allies of Ducktown.
- Aldo (Dave Ward) – A lumbering but kind-hearted alligator from the town of Swampwood. He's Bill's best friend, though he often receives grief from his fellow gators on being a 'duck lover'. Has a blind Uncle Artie and a baby cousin Andy. Once was the cook at the bowling ball factory, he transferred to the assembly line after he befriended Bill, as he didn't want to cook any more ducks. He also fights urges so he won't eat ducks.
- Bev (Kathleen Barr) – Owner of the Decoy Cafe, where many ducks go to eat. She's a sweet duck who also has an alias, Madam Bevousky, as whom she offers fortune telling services to the residents of Ducktown. She is also the focus of Bill's romantic interests.
- Ed, Oly and Waddle (Louis Chirillo, Phil Hayes and Jay Brazeau) – Three brothers and friends of Bill who live next door to him. These three goofy and lazy freeloaders are similar to the Three Stooges and tend to scheme their way into things and are usually the ones behind some prank or plot, from which they always try to distance themselves when things go awry. Ed wears a tropical shirt and speaks with a New Yorkaccent. Oly wears a green beret, has big, soft feathers (as seen in 'Fowl Weather Feathers') and speaks with a 'beatnik' accent. Waddle is the shortest, fattest, and youngest and has a more childlike voice.
- Cecil (Ian James Corlett) – Ducktown's only dentist and an inventor, Cecil speaks with a British accent and is always there to offer advice to Bill or the others. Naturally, Aldo is typically his only customer, being the only person in town who actually has teeth. He also provides beak adjustments for the ducks.
- Claire – Cecil's wife who was scared of alligators, just like Aldo in the first episode.
- Fred (Phil Hayes) – a melancholy, but sometimes nervously hyper penguin, who migrated from Antarctica to Ducktown (possibly to get away from the killer whales & leopard seals), in which he has a citizenship. He's somewhat of a loner most of the time, always seen surrounding himself with bags of ice or air conditioning to remain comfortable in the intolerable (to him) heat. Has a duck girlfriend, Dot Cable, and a fashionable cousin, Gelata.
- Raoul (Michael Benyaer) – A Hispaniccrow who tends to be the freeloading troublemaker in Ducktown, and likes trading insults with Bill. He especially enjoys mocking Bill's attempts to fly.
- Drill Sergeant Duck (Cathy Weseluck) – A tough police duck who makes it hard for Aldo to come into Ducktown, as she also is the leader of the Duck Defense League, an anti-gator organization.
- Other characters that have appeared in the show have been voiced by Dale Wilson, Brian Dobson, Sylvia Zaradic, Chantal Strand, Chiara Zanni, Pauline Newstone, Paul Dobson, Lee Tockar, Garry Chalk, Jay Brazeau, and Scott McNeil.
Home media[edit]
VHS releases[edit]
Title | Release Date | Additional Information |
---|---|---|
Sitting Ducks: Duck Cravings | February 10, 2004 | Also available on DVD format. Episodes: Running Duck, Hic Hic Hooray, Peeking Duck, Midnight Snack, Ducks on Ice, Great White Hype, All In a Day's Work Includes a bonus episode 'Where's Aldo?' |
Sitting Ducks: Ducktown Adventures | February 10, 2004 | Also available on DVD format. Episodes: Mind Over Mallard, Got Milk?, Duck Naked, Bill Hatches an Egg, Hey, Bill's On The News, Denture Adventure, Waddle's Spud Bud Includes a bonus episode 'The Fly Who Loved Me' |
Sitting Ducks: Bill & Friends | February 10, 2004 | Also available on DVD format. Episodes: Ducks for Hire, Fred's Meltdown, License to Scoot, Pest of a Guest, Bev's Big Day, Feeding Frenzy, Born to be Wild Includes a bonus episode 'The Visitor' |
DVD releases[edit]
Sitting Ducks Mac Games
Title | Release Date | Additional Information |
---|---|---|
Sitting Ducks – Season 1: Quack Pack | February 10, 2004 | Consists of the “complete first season.” However, the DVD contains only one episode from season 1, but featured all of the others from season 2. Features two interactive games and character profiles. |
Sitting Ducks Mac Game Free
Merchandise[edit]
Sitting Ducks proved to be a big hit with the European children's show market, and as a result toys, clothing and other merchandise were created.
Print[edit]
The cartoon itself also spawned a couple of books. Quacking Up is a joke book written by Rick Walton featuring the characters from the television show, and Plucked Duck a children's picture book by Danielle Mentzer and Annmarie Harris based on the episode 'Duck Naked'. Both books were released in 2004, roughly one year after the show had ended.
Video games[edit]
In May 2003, Light and Shadow Production and Asobo Studios picked up the rights from Universal Studios to create games for Sitting Ducks.[3] Then, during 2004, Sitting Ducks was released for Microsoft Windows, Game Boy Advance and PlayStation 2.[4] An Xbox version was also planned to include a multiplayer racing option, but was quietly cancelled.[5]
References[edit]
- ^Perlmutter, David (2018). The Encyclopedia of American Animated Television Shows. Rowman & Littlefield. pp. 556–557. ISBN978-1538103739.
- ^Erickson, Hal (2005). Television Cartoon Shows: An Illustrated Encyclopedia, 1949 Through 2003 (2nd ed.). McFarland & Co. p. 748. ISBN978-1476665993.
- ^Calvert, Justin (2003-05-27). 'Sitting Ducks announced'. GameSpot. Retrieved 2009-02-15.
- ^'Sitting Ducks for PS2'. GameSpot. Retrieved 2009-02-15.
- ^'Sitting Ducks for Xbox'. GameSpot. Retrieved 2009-02-15.
External links[edit]
- Sitting Ducks at IMDb
Sitting Ducks Mac Game Download
Looking for a great gift idea for the holidays?
Check out our complete Seinfeld Gift Guide right now! Including T-Shirts, DVDs, and more!
Seinfeld ran for over 10 years, covering 9 seasons and close to 200 episodes. It revolutionized Television programming and set a new standard in TV comedy sitcoms. During the heights of its run, the Seinfeld crew can make any encounter and scene - from Jerry getting punked by George as he makes hotel reservations, to the duo regularly making fun of Elaine - filled with hilarity. More than a few TV shows have tried to duplicate its comedic flavor but none came close to having the same success. The Seifeld brand of comedy is simply hard to top, as exemplified by the sample script below.
[Transcribed by Dave (ratboy)]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Written by: Alec Berg and Jeff Schaffer
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Episode no. 98
pc: 611, season 6, episode 11
Broadcast date: January 19, 1995
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Cast
Regulars:
Jerry Seinfeld................... Jerry Seinfeld
Jason Alexander.................. George Costanza
Julia Louis-Dreyfus.............. Elaine Benes
Michael Richards................. Cosmo Kramer
Guest Stars:
Bryan Cranston................... Tim Whatley
Jessica Tuck..................... Bonnie
Cleto Augusto.................... Scott
Wayne Grace...................... Ukrainian
Opening monologue.
Loyalty to any one sports team is pretty hard to justify. Because the players
are always changing, the team can move to another city, you're actually rooting
for the clothes when you get right down to it. You know what I mean, you are
standing and cheering and yelling for your clothes to beat the clothes from
another city. Fans will be so in love with a player but if he goes to another
team, they boo him. This is the same human being in a different shirt, they
*hate* him now. Boo! different shirt!! Boo.
Opening scene.
Jerry and George are at a hot dog vendor's cart.
Jerry: You sure you don't want the tickets?
George: No thanks.
Jerry: I can't believe I'm having trouble getting rid of Super Bowl tickets.
George: I'm telling you, skip the Drake's wedding, go to the game.
Jerry: I can't, the Drake put me in the wedding party.
George: Well who schedules his wedding on Super Bowl Sunday?
Jerry: Maybe he didn't know?
George: Lemme see. I can't believe you got these for free. (Looking at the
tickets) Row F?!
Jerry: Row F, in front of the Gs, hobnobbing with the Ds and Es.
George: Howbout Kramer or Elaine, they don't want them?
Jerry: I asked. Elaine laughed at me, Kramer's only interested in Canadian
football.
George: Wish I could help you.
Jerry: Come on, take them. You could take Bonnie.
George: You paying my hotel and airfare to Miami?
Jerry: What do you think?
George: So in order to use these, I gotta spend like fifteen-hundred bucks.
This is a bill for fifteen-hundred dollars. Plus, she'd ask about the sleeping
arrangements, that whole sleeping arrangement conversation is depressing.
Jerry: Yeah, sleeping arrangements. So, you haven't, uh...
George: Oh, no no no, I haven't even seen her apartment yet. Tomorrow night's
the first night.
Jerry: Aah.
George: Hey, is that Tim Whatley?
Jerry: The Dentist?
George: Yeah, is he still mad at you for crashing his Thanksgiving party?
Jerry: Oh, no. I explained the whole thing to him, he was fine with it.
George: Oh good.
Jerry: Yeah, I blamed it on you. Hi Tim.
Tim: Hey Jerry! George. What are you up to?
Jerry: Ah, just a couple of gals out on the town, shopping and gabbing.
George: I'm getting a makeover.
Jerry: Hey. How would you like to go to the Super Bowl?
Tim: What, are you kidding?
Jerry: Here. Two tickets. Have a good time.
Tim: How can I think you? I'll tell you what, I'll take you to dinner
sometime. You ever been to Mendys?
Jerry: No no no. No dinner.
New scene.
Jerry's apartment, Jerry is on the phone.
Jerry: Tim, you didn't have to get me a thank you gift. I know, it's a label
maker. The Label Baby Junior. Yeah, I hear they're good. Well, label me
thankful. Okay, well you enjoy those tickets. Buh-bye.
Jerry hangs up, there's a pounding on the door.
Jerry: Come in.
More pounding. Jerry opens the door and Kramer backs in carrying a board game.
Kramer: Where can I put this?
Jerry: What is it?
Kramer: It's Risk, Jerry. The game of world conquest. (brushing newspapers off
the table with his foot and setting the game board down) Alright, that's
perfect.
Newman walks in.
Jerry: Kramer, why do you have to (noticing Newman) Hello, Newman.
Newman: Hello, Jerry. Will he take it? I gotta go to work.
Jerry: Take what?
Kramer: The board, Jerry. We've been playing at Newman's for six hours but
he's gotta go.
Jerry: So why don't you leave it at Newman's?
Newman: I wanted to, he won't let me.
Kramer: We have to put the board in a neutral place where no one will tamper
with it.
Jerry: So that's here?
Kramer: Yes, yes. You're like Switzerland.
Jerry: I don't wanna be Switzerland.
Kramer: Jerry, Newman and I are engaged in a epic struggle for world
domination. It's winner take all. People cannot be trusted.
Newman: Don't look at me.
Kramer: Oh, I'm looking right at you, big daddy.
Jerry: Alright, soldier boys, let's fall out.
Kramer: Alright, so you're gonna look after it?
Jerry: Yeah, yeah.
Kramer: Stay strong buddy.
Jerry: Yeah.
Kramer: Watch it good.
Jerry: Ok.
Kramer leaves, Elaine enters.
Elaine: Hey.
Jerry: Hey.
Elaine: Hey. Oh, is that a label maker?
Jerry: Yes it is. I got it as a gift, it's a Label Baby Junior.
Elaine: Love the Label Baby, baby. You know those things make great gifts, I
just got one of those for Tim Whatley for Christmas.
Jerry: Tim Whatley?
Elaine: Yeah. Who sent you that one?
Jerry: One Tim Whatley!
Elaine. No, my Tim Whatley?
Jerry: The same, he sent it as a thank you for my Super Bowl tickets.
Elaine: I think this is the same one I gave him. He recycled this gift. He's
a regifter!
Jerry: Or maybe he liked your gift so much, he decided to get me the same
thing. Perhaps it's an homage.
Elaine: Yeah, perhaps.
Jerry: Well how did he react when you gave it to him?
Elaine: Um, he said, 'Oh. A label maker. Howbout that?'
Jerry: He repeated the name of the gift?
Elaine: Yeah, so?
Jerry: Oh, well, if you repeat the name of the gift, you can't possibly like
it.
Elaine: What do you mean?
Jerry: Oh, you know, like when someone opens something up and they go, 'Oh.
Tube socks.' What are you gonna do about it?
Elaine: I don't know, I guess I'll just get invited up to his apartment and see
if he's got a label maker.
Jerry: Why'd you get him a gift anyway?
Elaine: Oh, he did some dental work for me and he didn't charge me so I thought
I'd get him a Christmas present.
Jerry: Yeah, well, if you're getting him anything for his birthday, I'm a
large.
New scene.
George and his girlfriend, Bonnie, are entering her apartment.
Bonnie: Well, here we are. This is the place.
George: Wow.
Bonnie: Do you like it?
George: I love it! This is fantastic! Look at this couch, is this velvet?!
Bonnie: Are you a velvet fan?
George: A fan? I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable.
And look at this, hardwood floors!
Bonnie: Aren't they great? (sees a man enter from the bedroom) Oh, Scott, hi.
This is George. George, this is Scott, my roommate.
Scott walks into the kitchen.
George (bewildered): Heh heh.
Bonnie: Here, check out this view. If you lean out this window, you can see
the river.
Scott returns from the kitchen eating an apple, and heads back to the bedroom.
George: So Scott's your roommate, huh?
Bonnie: Yes. Oh, I'm sure I've mentioned him.
George: No, you didn't mention it.
Bonnie: He's a great guy, you'll really like him.
George: I'm sure I will.
New scene.
George and Jerry are at the coffee shop.
Jerry: Male roommate, huh?
George: Yes. A male roommate.
Jerry: Is this a problem?
George: It's a huge problem, Jerry. The hardest part about having sex with a
woman is getting her to come back to your place! He's already got that.
Jerry: Well, maybe he's --
George: No. Believe me, he's not.
Jerry: So he's an eligible receiver.
George: She's confiding in him about our dates. You always like the person you
talk to about the date more than the date! It's just a matter of time till they
realize, 'Hey, we could have sex.'
Jerry: What's stopping them?
George: Exactly! You know how they get animals to reproduce in captivity?
They just put them in the same cage.
Jerry: What does he look like?
George: Oh, that's the worst part of it. He looks just like me.
Jerry: He looks like you and he's working from the inside?
George: I look like me and I'm working from the outside. Who do you think is
in the better position?
Jerry: Not you.
George: Ho ho. This bizarre ?harrod? experiment must end!
Jerry: We'll take a check please.
George: I gotta find a way to work this out, I love that apartment. It's so
cozy, I'm ensconced in velvet. You know, if it were socially acceptable--
Jerry: I know, you would drape yourself in velvet.
George: I've said that before?
Jerry: Many times. You love velvet, you want to live in velvet, everything
with the velvet.
Kramer (entering): Hey.
George: Hey.
Jerry: Hey.
Kramer: Guess what? I saw Newman talking to the super.
Jerry: So what?
Kramer: The super has keys to your apartment. Don't you see what's going on?
Newman is planning a sneak attack.
Jerry: Oh, maybe he's got no hot water.
Kramer: Yeah, alright, fine. You sit there and you watch while Newman takes
over the world. But he'd be a horrible leader. And you know who's gonna
suffer? The little people; you and George.
Jerry: Are you through?
Kramer: Oh. I talked to Arthur Jobanian. Yeah, the Drake's wedding? That's
off.
Jerry: The wedding is off? What happened?
Kramer: The Drake, he found out that the wedding is on the same day as the
Super Bowl. So he wanted to postpone it, they got in a big argument and *phlf*
it's over.
New scene.
Jerry and George are entering Jerry's apartment.
George: The wedding is off. Now you can go to the Super Bowl.
Jerry: I can't call Tim Whatley and ask for the tickets back.
George: You just gave them to him two days ago, he's gotta give you a grace
period.
Jerry: Are you even vaguely familiar with the concept of giving? There's no
grace period.
George: Well, didn't he regift the label maker?
Jerry: Possibly.
George: Well, if he can regift, why can't you degift?
Jerry: You may have a point.
George: I have a point, I have a point.
Jerry: Alright, I'll call him.
George: Yeah. What's that?
Jerry: Oh, it's Risk, it's a game of world domination being played by two guys
who can barely run their own lives. (Picks up phone and dials) Hello Tim?
Yeah, hi, it's Jerry Seinfeld, remember those tickets I gave you? Well it turns
out I can use them. Oh, you do? I understand. Okay. Bye. He already made
plans, he can't change them.
George (eating a pickle): Well they're his tickets, he can do what he wants
with them.
Jerry: Thanks.
George: Alright, I gotta go. I'm heading over to Bonnie's.
Jerry: What are you gonna do about the roommate?
George: I gotta try and find a way to switch places with him. It's like a
Sigfried and Roy trick.
Jerry: Well, the pickle breath is a good start.
George leaves, Newman enters, or would except Jerry tries slamming the door on
him.
Newman: Hello Jerry, may I come in?
Jerry: What do you want?
Newman (squeezing himself through the narrow space): Nothing, just being
neighborly. Do you wanna hang out? Shoot the breeze?
Jerry: I'm not letting you cheat, Newman. You're not getting anywhere near
that board.
Newman: Jerry? I'm a little insulted.
Jerry: You're not a little anything, Newman. So just pack it up and move it
out of here.
Newman (leaving): Oh, by the way, what are you doing for the Super Bowl?
Jerry: I dunno, watch it on TV I guess. Why?
Newman: Well if you watch closely enough, you just might see me. I'll be the
one waving to the camera from my seat on the forty yard line.
Jerry: You're going to the Super Bowl?
Newman: Yes I am, a guy on my mail route just got a couple of tickets and he
offered one to me.
Jerry: What's his name?
Newman: Tim Whatley.
Jerry: That's my ticket!
Newman: Is it?! Ohhh, well if only you'd known, you could have saved some time
and given it directly to me! Ha ha ha.
Jerry (as Newman leaves): Newman!
New scene.
George and Bonnie are at Bonnie's
George: What a movie. Good choice.
Bonnie: Thank Scott. He recommended it.
George: Oh, Scott, Scott. He's really great, isn't he?
Bonnie: Yes he is.
George: Yes he is. Let me ask you something. When you come out of the shower
and you put your robe on, do you cinch it real tight, are you concerned about
that?
Bonnie: George?
George: Do you hold the neck together with one hand, or are you just letting it
flap in the breeze?
Bonnie: George, you're being ridiculous.
George: What's the massage situation?
Bonnie: What do you mean?
George: Is there any work being done? Is there any rubbing, touching, finger
manipulation on the other person, and if so, who's making the request?
Bonnie: George, would you just stop?
George: Say you go to the bathroom at two o'clock in the morning, what's the
outfit? I mean, you dressing up or is it come as you are?
Bonnie: George, what is wrong with you?
George: I'll tell you what's wrong, a grown woman with a male roommate! It's
unnatural, it's an abomination!
Scott enters.
Scott: Hey!
George: Hey!
Scott: How ya going?
George: I'm good.
Scott (to Bonnie): Are you gonna need the bathroom? 'Cause I'm gonna jump in
the shower.
Bonnie: No, just throw my bras out of the way.
New scene.
Elaine and Tim Whatley are walking together on the street.
Tim: Well, this is my building.
Elaine: Yes it is.
Tim: This was fun, you know?
Elaine: Yeah.
Tim: So, I'll call.
Elaine: Aren't you gonna invite me upstairs?
Tim: Upstairs? You wanna go upstairs?
Elaine: I would love to go upstairs.
Tim: Elaine, you are something else. No one can ever put a label on you, huh?
Elaine: We'll see.
New scene.
Jerry and George are at their booth in the coffee shop.
Jerry: Newman. He's going with Newman.
George: How does Tim Whatley even know Newman?
Jerry: Newman's his mailman.
George: Who goes to the Super Bowl with their mailman?!
Jerry: Who goes *anywhere* with Newman?!
George: Well, he's merry.
Jerry: He is merry, I'll give him that. (notices a cactus on the table)
What's this plant for?
George: I had a little tiff with Bonnie about the roommate.
Jerry: Oh, well the cactus will smooth things over.
Elaine enters.
Elaine: Hey, guess what? I'm going to the Super Bowl with Tim Whatley.
Jerry: What?
Elaine: We went out for coffee last night and he offered me a ticket.
Jerry: What about the label maker?
Elaine: Ah, well.
Jerry: Wait a minute, that's my ticket! You didn't even want to go.
Elaine: It was totally out of the blue. We went upstairs to his apartment, you
know, to look for the label maker.
Jerry: So, how did you get up there? Did you say you had to use the bathroom?
Elaine: No.
Jerry: Then how'd you get up there?
Elaine: I said, 'Do you wanna go upstairs?'
George: And there's you ticket.
Elaine: What?
Jerry: That's why you're going to the Super Bowl.
Elaine: Why?
Jerry: You go out with a guy one time, you ask him to go upstairs like you're
Mae West? Of course he's gonna try and get you alone for the weekend.
Elaine: You mean just because I asked him to go upstairs, he thinks he's going
downtown?
Jerry: Obviously.
Elaine: You're crazy.
George: Well, what happened when you got upstairs?
Elaine: As soon as we walked in, he got a call from one of his patients with an
impacted molar or something so he had to leave. I didn't even get a chance to
look for the label maker.
Jerry: Yeah, well I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, he degifted,
and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp.
New scene.
Jerry is in the hallway approaching his apartment door. Kramer walks out of his
apartment.
Kramer: Hey.
Jerry: Hey. What are you doing?
Kramer: I'm watching your door.
Jerry: My door?
Kramer: Yeah, from my peephole. Fisheye, sees all.
Cut to the interior of Jerry's apartment. Newman sneaks out from the bedroom
towards the table where the Risk board is sitting. He accidentally knocks some
CDs off the shelving unit, making a lot of noise.
Jerry (still outside): What was that?
Kramer: Newman!
Jerry begins opening the door, Newman does not have enough time to change the
board pieces.
Newman (fleeing to the bedroom): Damn!
Jerry (after entering): The bedroom!
Jerry runs to the bedroom, catching a glimpse of Newman climbing out the open
window and up the fire escape. Jerry and Kramer rush to the window.
Jerry: I see you, Newman! I see you!
Kramer: I'm taking the Congo as a penalty!
New scene.
Elaine and Tim Whatley are sharing a cab.
Elaine: I've got a confession to make.
Tim: Oh? What's that?
Elaine: I've got Super Bowl fever.
Tim: Oh yeah, me too.
Elaine: So where are we staying?
Tim: Oh, the Ambassador.
Elaine: Oh. Big room?
Tim: It's a regular room, but it's right downtown.
Elaine: Downtown?
Tim: Right downtown.
Elaine: What do they have there, a couple of beds?
Tim: Why? You bringing someone else?
Elaine: No, but don't you think there should be two beds? There's two of us.
Tim's grin disappears.
New scene.
George enters Bonnie's apartment.
Bonnie: Oh, a cactus.
George: They don't need any water, so you don't have to keep taking them to the
bathroom.
They share a laugh. Scott enters from the back holding a cardboard box. He
places it on a stack of similar boxes.
Scott: Well, look who's here.
Bonnie: I asked Scott to move out.
George: Oh. Oh!
New scene.
George and Jerry are at Jerry's apartment. Kramer and Newman are seated at the
Risk board on the living room table.
Jerry: So she kicked him out of the apartment.
George: That's right. It's just me and her.
Jerry: Wow, she rearranged her whole life for you.
George: I guess she did. He's gone, now I'm the man.
Jerry: That's not a good role for you.
George: No, it's not.
Jerry: You unwittingly made a major commitment. That's a lot of pressure.
George: Oh my god.
Jerry: You wanted to be ensconced in velvet, you're buried.
George: I had the perfect situation here, he was shouldering half the load.
Jerry: He was shouldering.
George (walking towards the door): I couldn't leave well enough alone?!
Jerry: Where are you going?
George: I gotta go help her tape up all his boxes and get them ready for
shipping.
Jerry: Oh, well here. Take Whatley's label maker, I don't want to see it
again.
George: Thanks.
Kramer (rolling the dice): Yeah. I am taking over South America and there
ain't nothing you can do about it.
Jerry: So, too bad about that Super Bowl ticket, eh Newman?
Newman: Yeah. I just hope Tim Whatley's electric bills don't suddenly get lost
in the mail, or it could be lights out for him.
Jerry (walking out): Thanks for having me over, guys.
New scene.
Jerry and George are out on the street, Tim Whatley comes running up.
Jerry: Alright, I'll see you later.
Tim: Hey Jerry?
Jerry: Ah, Tim Whatley. Out scalping?
Tim: Ah, see, now I've been thinking a lot about what happened and I feel
horrible. Listen, I want to give you a ticket back.
Jerry: Are you serious, what about Elaine?
Tim: Oh, Elaine. Yeah, well, things just didn't work out like I thought they
would.
Jerry: Oh. (notices a car being jacked up by a tow truck) Hey, isn't this
Kramer's car? (yelling up) Hey, Cosmo!! They're towing your car!!
Kramer (running to the window): What?! Not my car!! Hey!! They're towing my
car!!
Kramer runs out the door, leaving Newman alone with the Risk board, but only for
a moment. He runs back in and grabs the board.
Newman: What are you doing?
Kramer: I'm taking the board with me.
Kramer runs out carrying the board, Newman follows a moment later.
Back on the street, Kramer's car is jacked up and the driver is just taking off.
Kramer comes running after it, yelling at the driver and balancing the game
board with Newman at his heels.
Tim: So, I guess I'll see you at the game.
Jerry: Yeah, see you there.
New scene.
George walks into Bonnie's apartment, *everything* is boxed up and Bonnie is
taping up the last of the boxes. He knocks to get her attention.
Bonnie: Hi, George.
George: What, what happened? Where's, where's all the stuff?
Bonnie: It's gone. It was all his. Is this a label maker?
George: The table, the stereo, the VCR, the velvet couch, where's the velvet?
Bonnie: They were his. Besides, we don't need any of those things. We have
each other.
New scene.
Kramer and Newman are on a subway car, the Risk board sits on their laps.
Newman: Are you sure you know where the impound yard is?
Kramer: Oh, stop stalling. Come on.
Newman: I can't think, there's all this noise.
Kramer: Or is it because I've built a stronghold around Greenland? I've driven
you out of Western Europe and I've left you teetering on the brink of complete
annihilation.
Newman: I'm not beaten yet. I still have armies in the Ukraine.
This comment perks up the ears of what appears to be a Russian immigrant.
Kramer: Ha ha, the Ukraine. Do you know what the Ukraine is? It's a sitting
duck. A road apple, Newman. The Ukraine is weak. It's feeble. I think it's
time to put the hurt on the Ukraine.
Ukrainian: I come from Ukraine. You not say Ukraine weak.
Kramer: Yeah, well we're playing a game here, pal.
Ukrainian: Ukraine is game to you?! Howbout I take your little board and smash
it!!
The Ukrainian pounds the game board, destroying it and sending army pieces
flying.
New scene.
Tim Whatley approaches his building, Elaine is waiting at the door.
Elaine: Hello, Tim.
Tim (startled): Elaine, hi.
Elaine: Don't worry, Tim. I didn't come by to yell at you, I didn't come by
for that at all. I just came by to pick up my label maker. I gave you a label
maker and now I would like to have it back.
Tim: But you gave it to me.
Elaine: But you gave me a ticket to the Super Bowl. Hand it over, Whatley.
Tim: Uh, ok.
Elaine: You don't have the label maker, do you?
Tim: Uh, no.
Elaine: I knew it! You're a regifter!
Tim: Oh, yeah, some gift. That thing didn't work at all.
Elaine: What?
Tim: You put a label on something, then ten minutes later it would peel right
off. It was the worst gift I ever got.
Elaine (visibly upset): Well, I bought it for you because you were so nice to
me for not charging me for the dental work. The way you worked on my filling,
you were so, so gentle and so caring and so sensitive.
Tim: Oh, Elaine!
They embrace passionately.
New scene.
First the exterior, then the interior of a mail truck. Boxes are being jostled.
A close-up of a box labeled with 'Scott Thomas' and a street address is shown.
The labels fall off the box, one by one.
New scene.
First the exterior, then the interior of a football stadium. Jerry is walking
down the aisle.
Jerry: H... G... F. Seat four. One, two, three... f-- Hello Newman.
Newman: Hello, Jerry. Tim couldn't make it, he's in love. Isn't that
wonderful?
Jerry: Oh, it's enchanting.
New scene.
George is bringing a portable TV to Bonnie's so they can watch the game.
Bonnie: Hi.
George: Here's the TV. I know you wanted to watch the Super Bowl. Do you at
least have some towels we could sit on? It's, like, a four hour game.
Bonnie: George, Scott's gonna drop by. He said he never got his boxes. I'll
get the towels.
George (internally): How am I gonna get out of this? Think Costanza, think!
Bonnie: Here we are.
George: Hey, do you know, Bonnie, I just had a pretty wild idea.
Bonnie: What is it?
George: Well I, uh, I'm not sure how you pronounce it or anything, but I, uh, I
believe it's Ménage à Trois?
Bonnie: What?
Just then, Scott enters.
Scott: Hi.
Bonnie: Scott! Remember what we talked about the other day? George is into
it.
Scott: Oh really?!
Scott walks towards George, the camera moves in on a close-up of an increasingly
horrified George, and freezes.
New scene.
Jerry and Newman are at the Super Bowl.
Newman: Great streak of luck I'm having. First, Kramer almost beat me at Risk
but I narrowly escaped, and then Tim Whatley gives me his Super Bowl ticket.
Jerry: Can you move over at all?!
Newman: And then, just as I'm about to go, these boxes show up at the post
office with no labels. No labels, Jerry. You know what that means? Freebies!!
I got this great mini-TV and a VCR, oh it's unbelievable.
Jerry: An inch! Can you move over an inch?!?
END